06.03.08

Hardy har har har!!!

I came to the realization that briefs are the shit to wear. Especially when wearing shorts with white sneakers. My short story goes like this.

Thinking that boxers are better for breathing balls, I decided to rock a pair with my khaki shorts and white sneakers. A big mistake by me. After enjoying my 5 eggs with rice and sausage patties for breakfast, I went on my daily walk through the streets, highways, and parks to collect any dropped change. After stopping by a Quik-E-Mart for a bottle of V8 juice, I immediately felt my stomach brewing like a pot full of brew and shit. Feeling a flop of flatulence rounding about, I let one loose, with an accidental, little squart to finish it. Me and my boxer-wearing ass felt that shit hit my leg and watched as it landed on my brand new pair of Champion sneakers. That shit fucking sucked. I wouldn't have minded so much if I had jeans on because I'm sure the squart would have just stuck to the inside of my jeans. Instead, I had to walk around all morning with a pair of shit-stained shoes. That shit pissed me hard. I'm going to yell at Hanes if I ever see him, for not warning me that shit could fall out my underwear. To make shit even worse, after pissing on a tree today, when I put my junk back in my pants, i dropped a drop of urine that landed all up on my thigh. That shit was grosser than a grossball made of boogers and snot and shit. They say that if you shake more than once, you're playing with yourself. Well, from now on, I'm going to play with myself after pissing because that sure as hell feels a whole lot better than getting droplets of piss on my leg. That single experience today has learned me that suffocating nuts is way better than shit on the top of your shoe.

Boxers or briefs?
Depends.
You're right. Diapers are way better.