04.11.08

What in the googleheim is going on with my employer?!

Today, they gave the copy machine attendant his own desk. That got me madder than a mad scientist that's really mad. He's got to be related to the boss, or if not, blowing him every Thursday. And to make matters worse, today, Copy Machine Boy decided to make himself comfortable and take off his shoes. The only reason I'm complaining is because I had to smell feet all day. I swear. This guy must've been wearing the same pair of socks for the whole week because that shit wreaked more than a wreaking bunch of smelly stuff. I tried to give him scented toilet paper from the bathroom to insinuate the fact that his foot odor was bad, but he just acted surprised that the bathroom actually carries 3-ply toilet paper, which is very surprising, by the way. This guy has already left the office and I can still taste the flavor of feet in the air.

I think Gordon the security guard is about to get let go soon. I actually stopped by the first floor bathroom during my break and accidentally caught him puffing on a doobie. He offered me a hit, but I only smoke joints rolled in Bible paper. But, I can't really complain about him because he has a gun strapped to his side. So, enough of him.

I online ordered some new Pokemon cards and had them addressed to my job, so that my parents don't find out about the useless gift I got them. They are so going to think I'm an idiot when they open their anniversary gift, but I hope they'll realize that they're not just regular Pokemon cards, but Pokemon Diamond cards. They've been married for quite a while, but I hope they can appreciate the much thought I had put into it. Besides, those Pokemon cards I ordered were rare ones and costed me $600 a pop. Hopefully, none of those college graudate new-hires at work find out and try to rob me for my shit because I'm pretty sure they still collect those shits. I know how those thug kids are, especially with all that gang activity in the news. Life just ain't the same no more.

If a work of art is priceless, then give me that shit for free.