Un-fucking-believable!
Here I sit, in a Starbucks (never thought I'd ever visit one of these places), checking the latest bocce scores on the internet, when one of the most gorgeous ladies I've ever seen walks into my life. With every seat taken, except the outdoor ones and the seat on the other side of the two person table I sat at, she asks me if she could take the seat. Giving her permission with thoughts that she'd drag the seat away, she sits down in front of me and makes small talk about how tiring and stressful her job is. I eventually tell her about my work situation, and somehow we got to a point where she's offering me a job. Apparently, she's the boss lady of a big-named website which specializes in research and writing. I lied to her and told her, "...I'm a successful writer with 3 books in publication, 2 of which I co-authored, and I have tons of experience with writing and shit." She was totally digging me, giving me her business card to contact later. I'm pretty sure she just wants to have some office-type affairs with me, but I can't blame her for that, since I am the stud of all studs. So far, things are looking on the up. Whether it's hand or blow, I'll be getting some type of job in the very near future.
Right now, there's this girl sitting a couple tables away who I'd definitely want to give an STD to. Too bad I'm pretty clean. Or maybe that's a good thing. Oh, well. I guess we all can't be sensual deviants.
Oh yeah. Just to update you on my whereabouts, I finally made it to "New Joisey," and I have no idea where the hell I am. I downed a half-pint of Hennessy on the train and jumped off some stop because I noticed this blind guy with his guard dog getting off the train. Since I had no idea where I was going, I just followed this guy who most likely didn't know where he was going. Hopefully, I can run into some cool mafiosos and become part of the Sopranos and shit. Aside from becoming a superhero/villain, my goal is to get drunk with strippers and own a tommy gun. It's going to be the shit.
"I'm not lost. I'm exploring!" -comedian P. Rodriguez
No comments:
Post a Comment