Holy cookies from hell!
I was walking down some highway, picking up any loose change I could find, when a building happened to cross my path. The building was for a psychic who also gave massages. It was like a psychic massage parlor. I'm usually skeptical when it comes to psychics, but the one I spoke with, in there, totally blew my mind. First, she read my palm, but proved to be incorrect. Perhaps that phone number I scrawled wasn't legible. Or maybe she just didn't know how to read numbers. Either way, she complained that there was too much interference coming from my hand energy, which I'm guessing was her way of saying that I play with myself too much. I wasn't sure if I wanted to believe her just yet so I asked her to tell me something about myself. The first and only thing she told me was, "Today is not your birthday!" And by golly, she was right. It was freakin' amazing. She has to be practicing some kind of devilism or whatever the hell that shit is called. How could she possibly know that today wasn't my birthday?! I didn't have ID to prove her correct, but deep down inside, I knew she knew my future life story. Convinced that she had psychic abilities, I gave her $20 for a back massage to see if she was as multi-talented as the sign in the front of the building had suggested. Lo and behold, she had some strong hands. It was a shame though that there was no happy ending, so I did leave the place a sad man.
I guess things can't always go my way, but at least I almost collected 89¢ on my walk down the busy highway. I was 33¢ short. Oh well. My day of victory shall approach, and on that day, I'll be more victorious than a victor who victorizes shit.
"Someday, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But, until that day, accept this justice as a gift..." -Don Corleone
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