9.28.2008
9.24.2008
09.24.2008
Happy Birrethdayt!!!
(according to the Wikinepdiad's collection of possible truths)...to Sir Arthur Guinness.
In celvebaration of this well known knight, I have taken the opportunitiy to bring in a six pack of Guinness beer, and drink it at work. Lucky for Sir Arthur and I, the boss decided to take the day off just so I could take a break from this disease they call sobriety. Well, that's not the real reason she took off, but I like to think it is.
While at work, I managed to accomplish a little more than nothing. Aside from re-alphabetizing the alphabet, in order from my favorite letters to my least favorite, and checking up on world news in Micronesia, I was able to find the time to collect denials for phone numbers from females that seemed to laugh at everything I said, proving the saying, "If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything," false, especially since they all refused to hop on one leg and high-pitchedly bark like a dog.
This makes my batting average 0 for 8 today. Damn bitches.
I'm still at work, and I'm beginning to realize how much I hate being drunk, especially since I'm pretty really drunk. It's all good though, because when I'm not drunk, I'll probably still be drunk off of root beer.
On another note, my parents kicked me out for a day. I'm not too sure why, but something tells me they built a laboratory in their bedroom to build more babies, so hopefully, I'll have a younger brother who can bring home the legally aged bitches for me. Someone mentioned the idea to me that maybe my parents were trying to have sex, but I don't think they would do that, because that shit would just be gross. Either way, I need to kick that perseon's ass for even trying to put that idea in my head.
Now, I'm about to leave work, and I need to figure out what to do with my time. Maybe I'll just go bowling, and hope it magically turns into a strip club.
Somebody save me...
(according to the Wikinepdiad's collection of possible truths)...to Sir Arthur Guinness.
In celvebaration of this well known knight, I have taken the opportunitiy to bring in a six pack of Guinness beer, and drink it at work. Lucky for Sir Arthur and I, the boss decided to take the day off just so I could take a break from this disease they call sobriety. Well, that's not the real reason she took off, but I like to think it is.
While at work, I managed to accomplish a little more than nothing. Aside from re-alphabetizing the alphabet, in order from my favorite letters to my least favorite, and checking up on world news in Micronesia, I was able to find the time to collect denials for phone numbers from females that seemed to laugh at everything I said, proving the saying, "If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything," false, especially since they all refused to hop on one leg and high-pitchedly bark like a dog.
This makes my batting average 0 for 8 today. Damn bitches.
I'm still at work, and I'm beginning to realize how much I hate being drunk, especially since I'm pretty really drunk. It's all good though, because when I'm not drunk, I'll probably still be drunk off of root beer.
On another note, my parents kicked me out for a day. I'm not too sure why, but something tells me they built a laboratory in their bedroom to build more babies, so hopefully, I'll have a younger brother who can bring home the legally aged bitches for me. Someone mentioned the idea to me that maybe my parents were trying to have sex, but I don't think they would do that, because that shit would just be gross. Either way, I need to kick that perseon's ass for even trying to put that idea in my head.
Now, I'm about to leave work, and I need to figure out what to do with my time. Maybe I'll just go bowling, and hope it magically turns into a strip club.
Somebody save me...
9.12.2008
9.09.2008
California Admission Day '08
"Epic fail!!"
Some young girl at work called me an "epic fail." She continued to laugh in my face and spit at my feet because of the news around my job. Apparently, some dumb ass kid, who happens to be really close buddies with the big boss, was upgraded to be an authority figure above me. Somehow, a child, who has recently discovered what it's like to legally consume alcohol, not to mention that he also has only maintained a GED, while having no type of college education or experience, has excelled further than my non-ass-kissing ass. I'm pretty sure I am capable of handling his job with much more efficiency, but because he happens to be good buddies with the big boss, and because he doesn't know how to use a condom, he gets the upgrade in job and pay and shit. Some bullshit that is. Needless to say, I told that name-calling girl to shut her mouth before I stuff it with something small and hard, and she did, but a small, hard part of me really wished that she didn't.
I'm about to start processing babies, so I can have an excuse to move up on the corporate ladder and begin to slave drive under-valued employees like myself. To make matters worse, I paid for this kid's drinks a few months back, and this prick didn't even bother to give me the money he had promised when he "forgot to bring cash with him." I seriously want to pee on his child.
I guess that's life. And in celebration of life, I'm going to play with my ding-a-ling, and watch my wastes of life dry themselves up on the wall of shame that stands in front of me.
On a brighter note, a female accepted my offer to dinner and a movie. Unfortunately, she changed her mind when she saw how surprised I was that she accepted my kind gesture, but I guess that's life. And in celebration, I will be touching myself, daydreaming of what should have been, while listening to some Celine Dion.
It should be an interesting evening.
I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here?
Some young girl at work called me an "epic fail." She continued to laugh in my face and spit at my feet because of the news around my job. Apparently, some dumb ass kid, who happens to be really close buddies with the big boss, was upgraded to be an authority figure above me. Somehow, a child, who has recently discovered what it's like to legally consume alcohol, not to mention that he also has only maintained a GED, while having no type of college education or experience, has excelled further than my non-ass-kissing ass. I'm pretty sure I am capable of handling his job with much more efficiency, but because he happens to be good buddies with the big boss, and because he doesn't know how to use a condom, he gets the upgrade in job and pay and shit. Some bullshit that is. Needless to say, I told that name-calling girl to shut her mouth before I stuff it with something small and hard, and she did, but a small, hard part of me really wished that she didn't.
I'm about to start processing babies, so I can have an excuse to move up on the corporate ladder and begin to slave drive under-valued employees like myself. To make matters worse, I paid for this kid's drinks a few months back, and this prick didn't even bother to give me the money he had promised when he "forgot to bring cash with him." I seriously want to pee on his child.
I guess that's life. And in celebration of life, I'm going to play with my ding-a-ling, and watch my wastes of life dry themselves up on the wall of shame that stands in front of me.
On a brighter note, a female accepted my offer to dinner and a movie. Unfortunately, she changed her mind when she saw how surprised I was that she accepted my kind gesture, but I guess that's life. And in celebration, I will be touching myself, daydreaming of what should have been, while listening to some Celine Dion.
It should be an interesting evening.
I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here?
9.01.2008
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