I'm baaaaack!!!
After a long, seemingly endless flight from Beijing, I have returned to my home base, and sad to say, I have no medals to show for it, even though I competed in nearly every event possible. I'm not too sure what I was thinking when I decided to compete in any of the water events, especially when I know for a sure fact that I lack the ability to swim or even tread water. However, I am proud to say that after my diving event, I did pee in the little jacuzzi bath that all the participants jump in after jumping out of the pool.
The only event I didn't take part in was any and all equestrian events because we all know that horses are Superman's kryptonite, and although I'm no Superman, I'd sure hate to see what happens if I mounted some big-donged beast and lashed it with my cat-o-nine tails.
I was planning to put a bid for a future Summer Olympics to be held at my house, but I'm pretty sure my parents would get really pissed off, leading to an expansion of their hatred from my group of friends to the rest of the world, and there can definitely be no good stemming from that.
The Olympic Sorta True Fact of the Day:
The five rings on the Olympic Emblem originated from the first and only Olympic event available in the first Olympic Games. That event was 'The Ring Toss.' Each country selected one individual to toss all five rings onto a ring-catching pole. Considering that back in the day, only a couple of countries were known to have existed, there were very few contenders. But of course, the inventor of the game, according to US patents, Roy L Keim, representing the city of Wichita, in the country of Kansas, reigned victorious, as he knew the only cheat code for the game, which still retains the value of confidential information. The cheat code still remains one of the most sought after secrets known to man.
Who'da thunk it?
Hip, hip, hooray for Andres Bonifacio!!!
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